When You Say A Bad Word

I cant help it. Sometimes my kids push me to the limit. I say the word "leche" as an expression of my over-the-top frustration. You may say... "Oh so you swear pala, ha?" Hmm...ok... maybe if that's what you wanna say. And I'm guilty especially when I always say we dont have a room for any foul language in our house.

I'm not perfect and my temperament is not constantly pleasant. What aggravates me most of the time is when Marc and Marielle fight. It irks me big time when they tattle on each other. I dont take sides because I know both of them are at fault. Another thing is when they dont do as they're told and when they talk back at me. But before going any further let me make this clear. I dont say the bad word each time they do any of these. Only when my patience is already hanging by a thread. And when I say the word my kids realize that I do mean very serious business this time. Actually, they know my body language that means business. But there are times that they seem too try to see how far you can stretch your patience. I think that is every kid's business ... to see when mommy blows her top.

I just found it so funny when one day I told Marielle what leche means. Uttering bad words is never funny but I'm talking about this one incident. My daughter was hollered at by me for something she did. And yes I said the bad word. Moments later I heard her mutter something under her breath, "I know leche is a bad word" with emphasis on the word bad.

This is how our exchange went after that.
Me: what?
Marielle: (pouting her lips) Leche is a bad word, I said.
Me: Do you wanna know what leche means?
Marielle: (rolling her eyes) Yeah...sure
Me: Well, it means milk.
Marielle: (looking straight at me and smirking) Milk.
Me: Yes, milk.
Marielle: So, everytime you get really mad at me you say MILK?
Me: Hmm ... well...yeah.
Marielle: (frowning) It doesnt make sense to me, Mom.
Me: Life doesnt make sense sometimes.
Marielle: I really dont get it. And I never will.

And then I laughed so hard. She started laughing too even if she didnt know what made it so funny. Actually I just laughed at her reaction after telling what milk means. Until now I still laugh when I remember that incident. Weeks later, we were grocery shopping and she saw this sign at the dairy section. It says "Milk" and underneath was the word "Leche" . She called me and said, "hey Mom, look leche really does mean milk. But I still dont understand why you throw that word at me sometimes."

Obviously I was just trying to avoid getting cornered and found guilty by my daughter. So there goes my palusot. I have no excuse for saying leche sometimes. I dont even want to say ..." well at least it's not like the other swear words I know that are in overly foul taste." I'm just doing my best not to say it anymore even if I'm so fuming and steaming mad.




Marielle and me at Fort Myers Beach during Rachael's wedding.







Marc and Marielle enjoying the powdery sand of Fort Myers beach.








She was in Principal's list for getting straight A's and he made it to the honor roll. I'm proud of my 2 baktins.

It's a Sub Life

Between my last post and now, I must say there've been so many things that happened in my life. Some of them I even call major changes. I'm just gonna write about one thing today. It's been so long that I dont even know if I have mentioned anywhere in my previous posts that I got hired as a substitute teacher for the 3 elementary schools in our city. I started working in October. That was after I went to Marc's former teacher's class to observe how a typical school day goes.

The very first time I subbed I freaked out. If I could just pack up my things and leave the rugrats but I had to be professional. So I endured it. I was unfortunate to have my first taste of a rowdy first graders. It easily reminded me of Arnold Schwarzenegger's film called "Kindergarten Cop". I thought I wasnt gonna survive that day. I was counting every minute that went by and was crying for dimissal time.

But then the second time I was called to sub, I found myself in an even a lot worse bunch of kids. It was totally a nightmare! I immediately thought wow the first one was a piece of cake after all. This time I was with fifth graders notorious for driving their teacher crazy... on daily basis. Well if they drive their teacher crazy then I could only imagine what they can do to me. Before I could even start the first lesson I had to send one of the kids to the principal's office because he became disruptive. Then a boy and a girl were fighting and yelling at each other as if they were the only people in the classroom. I tried to calm them down but their voices drowned mine. Another girl claimed she wasnt feeling well and so I sent her to the clinic. After a few minutes she came back and then lied down on the floor. I asked why she did that, she said the nurse told her to rest. But hello not on the floor! I told her to go back to the clinic but she refused and dozed off on the floor. It was a deadly long day for me and I swore never to go back to that class ever again.

And the last time I subbed, I had to send one boy again to the principal's office. I was told he was sent home. He had the worst behaviour I've ever seen. He told me he didnt like me and wanted his real teacher back. He was backtalking at me, didn't do any of his work, walking around while I was giving lessons and tried to hit me with a book when I wasnt looking. And worst of all, the rest of the kids started to behave like him. Their sick teacher called me later and asked how my day went with her class. I told her everything which didnt surprise her at all. As punishment, the whole class wasnt gonna join the field trip that was scheduled 2 days later.

I dont understand why in all my encounters with kids with aweful behaviour they always happened to be black kids. I think it's in their culture. Someone told me that these kids are only bringing their behaviour at home to school. And it's sad. Good manners and behaviour start at home. I wonder what kind of parents these kids have. But then I dont want to be judgmental about the blacks because I know a lot of "non-black" kids who dont possess desireble behaviour either.

Good thing not all classes are tough. I've had kids I really love to death. They're the disciplined ones -- attentive, courteous, rescpectful, polite and sweet. These are the kids I look forward to teaching again because they never caused me any headache. They're the ones who ask me if I'd be coming back the next day, the ones who give me little notes saying, "I love you Mrs. Shepard", the ones who come up to me and give me a hug or say hi when they see me around at school.

When it comes to 'bad' kids, I'm not bothered anymore. They're a challenge definitely but they dont intimidate me. And I guess it's because after dealing with so many kids of different grade levels and with different kinds of attitude I've learned how to deal with them and whatever the situation is. I always start off the day showing them that I am also an authority and I expect them to show their best behaviour just like when their regular teacher is around.

Just a little trivia: Most of the time kids are confused about where I came from. They think I'm from China but I dont look Chinese. Some think I'm Hispanic but I tell them I dont speak Spanish. A few will say I'm Japanese. It's really funny. I tell them I'm from the Philippines and right away they're like..."you're from where?" They dont have a clue about the Philippines so it has become part of my day with them to give a short info about the country using a globe. And I even have to illustrate on the board how I came to the States as I draw a flying plane too. It's cool to see them amused about the whole thing. And it's always an effective fill-in.